Clarity Making Transitions Easier

Another important quality that can help make transition easier is to BE CLEAR. As you go through the steps of becoming honest with yourself about what is needed, you will gradually become more and more clear of what you want and need.

Of course want and need are often closely entwined, but you can often have both fulfilled! Once you have come to the decision you want change, continue contemplating. Perhaps you want to journal or make a list of pros and cons for the different choices you have to make.

Change is often fueled by a need of some kind, or perhaps you are aware enough to look ahead and plan for the future. No matter the motivation for your change, you can manage to have both your needs and wants fulfilled! Set in place your needs, then put in place your wants. They are usually all possible.

Once you have really decided what is important to you, be sure to be clear in your communication with others. This is of course important first with your husband or wife or partner. You will come to a shared decision; allow this to take as long as it needs to, if you are able. Many decisions are ones that will affect you for years to come, so do allow each other to be on the same page before making big changes.

Thereafter, be sure to be clear with others around you. Family, children, sisters, brothers, etc. They will want to support you however they can.

Then, be sure to be clear with whomever is involved with making your move or change happen, be it marketing directors at a retirement facility or the movers you will be working with.

Simply Change can help you with any part of the actual process of movement or change. From the time you decide you are making a big move, you can meet with us, even a year in advance. If you are ready immediately, please get in touch right away. We offer our free one hour consultation specifically to help people get a clear picture of what they’re moving process can look like.

If you have decided you would like the assistance of Simply Change for downsizing or organization, we have a three hour minimum, and you can contact us to schedule anytime. We usually recommend having a couple of key areas to really get set up during that time, and we can also briefly go over another couple of areas during that time. Most areas of a home can be really set up in form and function in just a couple of days. We tend to not work more than about six hours in a day with one client because you will be making many decisions—so get some rest the night before!

For whatever change it is you are about to make, the more clear you can be the better—and we will start from wherever you are. We are here to make it as easy as possible.

And if you are unclear at this point, we can also start from there!! Like we said, we can help at any point in the process. We can become clear together on what will be most beneficial for you! It is a process, and we are here for that.

Getting Ready to Make a Change

When it comes to making big changes, like moving or downsizing, there are an infinite number of ways to feel, be, and act when under the pressure to make that change. Most people do it with ease and grace, some become somewhat overwhelmed, but everyone makes it happen.

Our goal is to help everyone have a smooth and easy transition, no matter what. Here are a few qualities we have seen with clients that seems to make the move easier for everyone. We will discuss them over the next few blogs:

1    1)   Be Honest

2    2)   Be Clear (Including Communication)

3    3)   Have a Plan

4    4)   Ask for Help When Needed

5    5)   Rest When Needed

6    6)   Take Time to Have Fun

First of all, be honest—mostly with yourselves first. Why are you making this move or change? What are your strengths and abilities at this point in your life? Where would it be beneficial to get help—even if you “could” do it—to not cause yourself too much physical or mental stress? It may be that you could still do the move yourself, and maybe have dozens of times in your life, but is that the best thing for you now?

Our bodies all get older: it’s the law of human existence. How we age is up to us. The fact that you are considering your options by considering having Simply Change help you is kudos to your openness to what you may need now in your life.

You may be busy, such as working parents with two young children. If you make this work, kudos to you. And, your entire life may operate more smoothly with a few organizational systems in place, such as childrens’ closets being organized and accessible to them. As children age, new systems are needed to allow their independence and learning, and you may or may not have time, energy, or experience for that. In fact, would you rather be doing that, or spending one on one time with your children?

One of the best examples of honesty I have seen is a charming woman who has dementia. She has the most wonderful smile and happy spirit, and she just says quite early in most conversations that she has dementia and just wanted to let us know that. Her husband patiently processed their house to prepare for a big move, and was also honest that in many ways he needed help because it was too much to take on himself. They both touched our hearts with their earnestness and honesty as they made the transition from a large single family home where they had lived for years to a smaller home in a retirement community.

Whatever change you want in your life, being honest with yourself and others is a good first step. From there, the accurate plan can begin to be made.

Know someone suffering from A.D.H.D?

The following article was published in the NY Times on July 19, 2010 and forwarded to me by Coach Rudy in Asheville, NC who specializes in helping people with ADHD. The toll of ADHD on marriage and relationships can be overwhelming. Does this sound familiar? Another reason to have a professional organizer who understand ADHD help you in the home and office!
 
Attention Disorders Can Take a Toll on Marriage
by Tara Parker-Pope
Does your husband or wife constantly forget chores and lose track of the calendar? Do you sometimes feel that instead of living with a spouse, you’re raising another child?
Your marriage may be suffering from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
An A.D.H.D. marriage? It may sound like a punch line, but the idea that attention problems can take a toll on adult relationships is getting more attention from mental health experts. In a marriage, the common symptoms of the disorder — distraction, disorganization, forgetfulness — can easily be misinterpreted as laziness, selfishness, and a lack of love and concern.
Experts suggest that at least 4 percent of adults have the disorder, that as many as half of all children with A.D.H.D. do not fully outgrow it and continue to struggle with symptoms as adults, and that many adults with the disorder never received the diagnosis as children.
Adults with attention disorders often learn coping skills to help them stay organized and focused at work, but experts say many of them struggle at home, where their tendency to become distracted is a constant source of conflict. Some research suggests that these adults are twice as likely to be divorced; another study found high levels of distress in 60 percent of marriages where one spouse had the disorder.

The main thing to remember is there is help available. There are many ways to address ADHD and improve your situation.

How Cool is That?

Between her husband and herself they had 8 children.  Every child had been part of the packing, hauling, tossing, and moving process to get their parents out of the three-bedroom house into the two-bedroom apartment. And still there was a whole garage full of stuff to get rid of. 

That’s where we came in. We took a look at the garage and said “sure”.  The truth is we never know what we are saying “sure” to. Robert and I arrived wearing our I-don’t-care-if-they-get-trashed-clothes expecting lumber and paint. There was plenty of that.  But underneath that there was the box of Victorian paintings, the beautiful art books, the “Hitler Invades Poland” newspaper, the old license  plates, the silver spoons, many nice tools, and the beautiful old dresser.

We sat knee-to-knee eating our lunchtime sandwiches surveying the lumber and treasures and talked about finding the best outlet for all we had uncovered.  After lunch we made a series of calls.

By ten o’clock the next morning the garage was spick and span. The auctioneer had arrived and taken half the items, an old buddy of the owner took all the wood and all the paint. Habitat had come and gone; we made three visits to the dump and a final stop at Goodwill.

Everyone was happy. The friend was grateful. Habitat wrote a receipt with a smile.  The auctioneer shook our hands vigorously. We felt pride in our job. The owners were relieved and it is likely they will make enough from the auction to pay our fee. How cool is that?